Hurdle crossed; popcorn and Brown!

Just got back from eating at a "Pirate" theme, underground restaurant in downtown Mariupol. Very good, gigantic portions and enough grease that it came with a coupon for a free, "cardio-unblock" procedure-maybe that's why it was so good. A part of the conversation turned to who won WWII. They are taught here that Russia along with Ukraine, won WWII as well as WWI. Really? We also got a great view of the large plasma TV tuned into Ukraine's version of "MTV", which is actually what we would refer to as "soft-porn". We are quickly coming to the realization that we made a good choice not to bring our kids here. We would have spent a lot of time on defense and/or explaining why things are culturally appropriate here and not back home. With teen-age daughters at home, it wouldn't have been easy to defend our standards. It may be one of the best decisions we made. This may only apply to those who travel to larger cities in Ukraine. For our particular situation it turned out well.

We did get a court date for this Friday. Nadiya performed her magic, again, and has us in front of a female judge at 11:30AM. We don't anticipate any issues or further delays, unless I can't figure out how to iron Anya's shirt-yes, that's right, I'm the only one in the family who can iron! This will add about two days to our trip.

It was a good day, for the most part. Picked up Anya around 10AM. It's only because of my ability to completely and utterly ignore the female mood-swings that we made it through the day. Anya became immediately pouty because we were going to walk instead of taking a taxi to do some shopping-for her! She thought we were headed back to the apartment for Pringles and DVD's. At one point, she was almost 200 yards ahead of us (actually, at some points, out of sight). As Aimee began to literally run after her I noticed that not only had she stopped, but had started back to us. Only that she came back on her own did the journey continue forward as opposed to a return trip to the orphanage. I was able to communicate, quite effectively in Russian, to wait for us, stay with us and quit causing anxiety for mama. She respected this the rest of the day, it was really quite nice-I was very impressed, so was the now, always lovely, always composed, never losing sight of the prize-Aimee!! This little episode occurred during 1/2 time so no scoring took place. Papa=3, Ukrainian Teen-age female=0.

Shopping at this gigantic, mid-evil type bazaar is chaos. We did manage to buy all the shirts and other things on, "...the list."! Aimee has this fetish for 'Sticky Notes a/k/a: Post-It-Notes'. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING goes on a sticky note. Our whole bedroom at home has a sticky note theme. As much as I taunt her about this, everything she sets out to do, gets done! I should have known something was up about 18 months ago when I spotted that pink sticky note on the dresser that said, "Adopt Ukrainian Orphan".

Had to exchange money today and with the US stock market tanking-what better time!! All the way up to $5.67gry for $1.00USD. By my calculations and with this trend, we may stay here as in Ukraine, I will shortly be a millionaire whereas in the states I'll be struggling. What are y'all doing back there? Anya tried repeatedly to show me where to exchange the money. I did not trust or value her insight. It was only after I agreed to heed her advice and go to the little booth with the little window that you can't see inside as your pushing $100.00 bills through it, that she smiled and was very happy. I realized at that moment that the language barrier and the loss of control and input because of this is HUGE!!!!! I read that somewhere, now I've seen it first hand. People, your adopted kids have massive amounts of change to process and cope with; demonstrate patience and support. As for my lovely wife; she is the best when it comes to this whole issue of international adoption and everything else as well. For those who don't know my wife, you are missing out on one of God's true gifts to man-kind-both inside and outside!!!!!

We did manage to see our first "UPS Ukrainian Guy" today. I ran him down, explained as best I could who I was and what I did back home. He smiled and said, "...awesome...". His truck and packages were nowhere to be found, only a satchel full of documents-are you kidding me!! Paperwork only? Anya made it very clear that we had completely embarrassed her. Don't teen-agers world wide realize that nothing is more satisfying than to completely, publicly humiliate them?

We were also told that starting tomorrow, Anya, who has become progressively less cooperative at the orphanage ("short-timer's attitude" as we call it in the states), will be going back to school every day instead of hanging out at the orphanage waiting for us to transport her into, "I'm the center of the world" land and being a complete pain in the aspirin may help her feel better about having to go back to school temporarily. :) We will now only have 3 hours/day with her which, for those of us who have had to morph into, "Entertainment Today and Night" for these kids, is not always entertaining. In all honesty, I have yet to discuss this subject with any couple who didn't, at least at some level, have some less than positive comments about spending hour after hour with, at times, very little to do. Most of these orphanages are not located in tourist locations. I move that all orphanages have to be within walking distance of "Disney Ukraine". Yes, it's great to have time with them and yes, they have had it hard (especially those summer camps in Greece) and yes, we love them and want the best opportunities for them, but has anyone else noticed that all those extended parent/orphan play-dates are lacking? Speaking of "play-dates": what is that all about? Is there a book out there somewhere that somehow suggested that this would be a good idea? Is it called, "Lets Turn Our Boys Into Sissy's"? When I was a kid we didn't have "play-dates"! We just, well, played...I move that stupid terminology like, "Oh, let's have them get together for a 'play-date'", be done away with! Do we really want to raise a generation of men who fondly recall the good 'ole days as, "play-dates"? To all moms: we love you. All the tenderness, love and care that you provide are the very foundation upon which character is built-without that attachment and empathy that is rooted in the very service you provide, there would be no men to accomplish great things. It is the very platform upon which to launch a little boy into manhood, and he is just that, a little man. Stop with all the, "play-date" non-sense! It's not a 'date', it's usually more like a 'brawl'. We can compromise: we'll keep the 'play' part and replace "date", with a more accurate description, 'brawl'. Now we have "play-brawl'! Da? Or how about, "play-battle'? Or, "play-butt kicking, furniture climbing, plant destroying, arm biting, couch face smashing, Cheerio throwing, backwards chair falling, my Fruit Roll Up is a sword stabbing, counter top pull ups exercising, 'how the hell did you get up there' screaming, cell phones are hand grenades throwing, everythings mine grabbing, machine gun sounding, what the flip is in your mouth panicking-date".

Please do not misconstrue, misunderstand or misquote me (unless, of course, it advances your position and, under the umbrella of 'self-justification', you feel entitled, feel free to do so). I love Anya and really do enjoy most of our time together, but I would be lying to you if I said it was all, "..love and roses...", sometimes, it feels more like, "Guns and Roses". Just kidding! Lighten up!

We watched the"Truman Show" in Russian today. Yesterday we watched "RV" in Russian. They don't bother removing the English, you can hear it a split-second before the Russian kicks in. Sometimes, as in the "Truman Show", they don't even bother dubbing in female voices, it's the same tone throughout. Picture, if you will, a cross between Adam Sandler and Vladimir Putin and you have the voice of ALL the characters.

Anya and I really enjoyed the movie together as I can hear just enough English and can comprehend just enough Russian to know the humor. Anya is very selective as to what she'll laugh at, but when she does, she means it.

We also discovered that throwing popcorn at each other is fun. Yes, I started it by knocking her elbow through her jaw, spewing her handful all over-she deserved it, I don't know why, but she did. She's relentless at throwing popcorn back at me. Then it occurred to me that I was throwing greasy, buttery popcorn all over Ludmilla's sons' apartment. Aimee should have stopped us, but noooo...........!!!! Anya and I also love to correct each others language usage, in fact, I've spent considerable time learning words and phrases and I can say in all seriousness that it has probably been the single biggest bonding ties between us. She sees me attempting to enter into her world and this shows her respect-she loves that, more than I can say. I, in turn, get to use it as leverage to encourage English and out of love and respect, she is really trying. See, I'm not the arrogant, uncaring, neanderthal you think I am. I'm in Ukraine-I love this kid.

Concerning language and word usage: I described to Anya that my popcorn was, "...popcornyets.." and hers was, "...popcornka..." The 'yets' is gender specific to males and the, 'nka' is gender specific to females-not always, but enough to make my point (and, no, it's not grammatically accurate, but you get my point). She was very impressed and absolutely loved the play on words that I was able to perform. If Anya and Nadiya got it and laughed and no one else does then I'm good with that.

Aimee continues to impress with her insight, patience and grasp of everything going on with Anya. All that preparation is really paying off as does a genuine love, care and concern for adoption-she truly has the heart of God in mind.

One more thing: do not and I repeat, do not allow your kids to have I-Pods. These things may be thee single worst thing that can be present at any sort of family event. It allows for complete dis-engagement and withdrawal.

Matt (only) The views expressed herein are not expressly those of the "Editorial Dictator" and do not necessarily reflect the opinion she may otherwise have.