Update Friday -Saturday

This is us in our train compartment

This is going to be a long one as we have not had Internet since Thursday in Kiev. We have felt very blessed so far on this trip, everything has gone relatively smooth here in Ukraine. It seems all the craziness and chaos is happening on the home front in Colorado. I received an email from Jasmine, my 14 year old daughter on Wednesday that she was going to Doctor because she hurt her ankle at her volleyball game Tuesday evening. After which I called her and she was headed to the ER because it had gotten worse. Her diagnoses nothing broken, severe sprain. OK Not so bad I can live with that, called her again to check in on Friday, “Hi Mom I am at the ER again!” Pain and swelling increased she cannot sleep; this is 10:30pm in Colorado Friday evening. Ok so glad you are back at doctor, I will call tomorrow to find out what they decide. It is Saturday evening as I am typing this, just got off the phone with my Mom doing this check, “Aimee we are at the ER again, Jasmine had a seizure this morning and we had to call the ambulance.” Ok, these are NOT the words a mom wants to hear when she is thousands of miles away and cannot possibly get home, or do anything to help! For those of you that may not know about Jasmine, she has type 1 diabetes and epilepsy, both which have been very well controlled for past two years no diabetic complications or seizures for over two years, never the less with the special medical concerns she really was my biggest fear in leaving my kids for so long. Anyhow Jasmine is doing better, should be fine after a few days to recover, mostly with her headaches for a day or two is normal for post-seizure days, as long as we keep nausea and vomiting under control then the blood sugars will stabilize and hopefully no hospital admittance, please keep her recovery in your prayers. Doctor seems to think her body just reacted badly to the pain and stress of the injury and that combined with the pain medication and lack of good sleep caused her system to misfire. Matt and Jasmine will have matching walking boots on their ankles when we return home that is a picture for the wall.

So back to Ukraine, We took the first class train in first class section Thursday evening from Kiev to Donetsk. The train ride was really not bad at all. It had been one of my biggest fears heading into this trip, all the train horror stories we have heard. I was told by our translator Nadiya, that sometimes families who travel during tourist season cannot get any tickets on the first class train, and have to go second class train and the first class section on those trains can be even worse. The price for the upgraded tickets were not very much more and well worth it, I think we paid about $140 US dollars for each ticket, so for our tickets and Nadiya’s it was about $420. We had a private compartment with two beds and plenty of room. Nadiya was in the compartment next to us with a woman passenger who slept most of the time and this made Nadiya happy. The bathroom on this train was very clean, had toilet paper and running water. The only thing that took some time to figure out was the faucet, the knobs that appear to control the water do not work, you just pull down on the part where water actually comes out of and it kind of sprays in multiple directions, so watch the purse it will get wet if it is on the counter. We ordered dinner on the train and it was good, we had mashed potatoes, breaded chicken and pork patties and bread. The coffee was not so good, black and strong. Tip for families waiting to travel, if you are coffee drinkers bring with you travel packets of creamer, and sugar, or instant flavored coffees, they do not have Vanilla creamer anywhere in the stores and I really miss it. Also everywhere we go they have really dry bread and no butter, so bring some little portable size butter packets that you can stick in your purse. We watched DVD’s on the train there was a plug in for the computer cord so we did not have to worry about the battery going dead, it was nice. (Don’t forget to bring several of the international plug converters with you to charge many things, such as cameras, phones, computers, and then they all are done and ready when you need to go out for the day.) After the DVD we both were able to sleep on the train fairly well, I would suggest your bringing your own comfy blanket, as the trains blankets were very rough and scratchy, but other than that the bed was very comfortable. We arrived in Donetsk about 7:00am on Friday. We were met by a driver who took us by car to Mariupol. He was friendly and safe, nothing to fast or scary. I think we arrived in Mariupol about 9:30ish. We went directly to the Social Worker’s office for that region to get permission to visit Anya’s orphanage. She was a nice lady. Nadiya had called ahead to tell her we were going to be there soon, and she said fine she had time to meet with us, but when we arrived she said we would have to wait. So we sat in the waiting area for only about 15 minutes then she called us in. She told Nadiya that she had to go to court so she would only have time for a few questions. She only wanted to know what town we lived in, if we had other children and their ages, then how long we had been married and which children were biological for which one of us. We answered these questions and she printed the letter for us and we were out of there within 15-20 minutes. Nadiya said we had some time to get something to eat before we went to orphanage if we wanted so we had the driver take us to a little cafeteria restaurant nearby, it was pretty good food and easy to choose because you can see it all prepared in front of you and if we were uncertain Nadiya was able to tell us what it was. Nadiya is absolutely wonderful. We get along like old friends. She is a fun, pretty, young woman, I think she said 25. Her English is perfect. She has been working for different adoption facilitators for many years, but just recently for Valentin. Some of you will know the Renfros, she was also their translator. We really enjoy her sense of humor and she is very open and honest. Matt is feeling a little overwhelmed, like having two wives he jokes, I guess because he is outnumbered again, and Nadiya and I think alike and react to things in that female mindset that is often confusing to men. Nadiya is beginning to perfect my mannerisms, looks and gestures, the ones that only my husband understands, it is great fun when he gets these from both of us at the same time. It is all in good fun and Matt is truly enjoying her company as well. So after our lunch we head over to the orphanage to meet the director Ludmila and Anya. When we arrive neither of them are there. Ludmila is at a meeting away from the orphanage and Anya is in the hospital. NOT what a mom wants to hear after waiting 18 moths and traveling thousands of miles to see this child wants to hear, but as you know our family spends lots of time in hospitals, clinics, and ER’s Anya is going to fit right in! So it turns out Anya has had a bad allergic reaction from too many eggs. She had a severe rash and swelling of her throat the past Friday so she had been in and out of the hospital for treatments the whole last week. Apparently they give this treatment to flush out her system several times per day and it is given thru an IV line. She spends the nights at the hospital but can leave for two-three hours at a time during the day if she needs too. So we are asked to leave and come back at about 2:00 and Ludmila and Anya will both have returned by then. While we were waiting for Nadiya to finish talking to vice director, Kseniya came in, she recognized us and was very happy to see us again, gave each of us hugs. She then told me again that Anya is in the hospital but she had already sent word over for them to get her ready to come back to orphanage at 2:00. So we leave again and decide to go and get some coffee and visit the sea shore for a bit. We found a decent place that is just across the road from the beach to get coffee. It was OK, still no vanilla creamer, but coffee was good without it. They would not allow us to sit outside, which was strange because it had a very large patio seating area, but Nadiya said she asked please several times and they insisted we sit inside, strange. So we had our coffee then walked over to the shore and walked around for a bit, it was nice, not to cool. After this we drove back to the orphanage and neither Anya nor Ludmila had returned. Nadiya insisted that we would not leave again but we would wait for them. So as we are standing there taking some pictures and watching the workers who are doing remodeling, I turn around and here is Anya walking right to me. I was not expecting this at all because we are not supposed to see her until after meeting with director, so I had no camera ready, no video camera ready, nothing, she gives me a big hug, and then for one for Matt too, and back to me. I ask her if she is OK and was she sick- that we heard she was in hospital, and she says “NO I am Ok” in English. Then she gets very shy and won’t make eye contact, and almost does not let us take a picture. I think it is overwhelming for her to have us there after so long of hoping and wishing for this day. We find out later she is feeling ashamed of being ill, and afraid that we do not want to take her home with us because she is not well. So silly, like I said our family is always at some type of doctor for one thing or another. Matt explains to her later thru the translator how he has been in hospital many, many times and I still let him come home with me. So just after this moment with the shyness, a caregiver tells Anya she must leave us and go upstairs with the other children, she is not happy about this. Anya argues a little but after the third Nyet, she goes. Apparently they did not know we were standing there when they brought her in and we are breaking the rules by seeing her before our official referral with Ludmila. We are told we can wait in the vice-directors office until Ludmila has returned and is ready. This gives Matt some time to charge his video camera, which has gone dead just in time to meet Anya. So we wait and Nadiya talks to some of the other office workers, it is very busy around this time lots of people coming and going, the remodeling going on, and just a feeling of things being out of order, many people waiting on Ludmila. There is a young blond girl in the entry way meeting with what appeared to be her grandmother and maybe an older sibling. At one point about 15 children came walking thru some carrying balloons and heading outside for some type of celebration. As I am watching, I see Nastiya Fields, She recognizes me and smiles and waves. It happens fast so I am unable to speak to her just wave, so Brian & Tami, not to worry, your surprise arrival is still in place. She will be so happy to see you! Ludmila finally arrives about half hour later, and many people have to talk to her, then they bring in a tray of food for her, so we wait again. Nadiya, Matt and I all agree we do not want a Grumpy Hungry Ludmila, so we wait patiently. After about 20 minutes, we get to go in and see her. Kseniya and another lady (this one tells about Anya’s medical history, so maybe she is the nurse?) are present for most of the meeting. When we walk in to the office, Ludmila is happy and remembers us from the visit to Colorado last year, she greets us each with a hug. We are told Anya’s social history and why she ended up as an orphan. The story is similar to what we knew before but a two year difference in time frame. Anya was left at the maternity house by her birth mother, just shortly after she was born, probably a few days. No mention of the biological father. Anya was adopted by a Ukrainian women, at age two months from this maternity house, seems they keep them for two months and then they can be adopted by local families. (We had previously been told Anya was adopted at age 2 years by Ukrainian family, something missed in translation I think.) So this mother who adopted her named Elena was married but the husband Michael was working abroad when the adoption took place, and the wife told her husband that the baby was their biological baby, and for many years he raised Anya thinking she was his child. Adoption laws must have been different many years back for this to have happened. When Anya was about 3 years old the mother and Anya left the father because of domestic violence against the mother by the father. After this separation the mother began to drink heavily and became angry and physically abusive towards Anya. Anya’s had a grandmother who was good to her and with whom she lived with a lot but was never given legal custody of, this grandmother would protect her from the angry drunk mother as best she could and she would take care of Anya as best she could. Anya loved the grandmother because she gave her attention and tenderness we were told. But then the Grandmother died. I think Anya was about 10 or 11, we still need to get that detail, but after this there was no one to protect Anya and mother got worse and worse, and one teacher at Anya’s school called social services because it was apparent that Anya was being abused. They said she was happy to come to the orphanage and went willingly she was relieved to leave the mother. This was in 2006. No one came to visit Anya, & Both Parents rights were eventually terminated. Anya was said to have done well at the entrance to the orphanage, helped with younger kids, cleaning and made friends with many kids right away. All the caregivers really love her, and she loves them too. Anya just wants a family and to be loved. We were told she went thru a period of brief depression as she was under the impression that we would come for her in May, and then May went and in June she had decided that we would not come. This is why she was so happy when Wendy and Joe told her that we would come in November or October, she had began to think we would not be adopting her. Anya’s medical report show same as SDA had reported. Just the spine curvature and the heart murmur, we are told the heart thing is just because of her age and development taking place too quickly and that will go away. All blood test are normal. The only other thing was an old injury that they could not give us details on, we will ask Anya later, a broken jaw and head injury some time ago. I would guess from abuse from the mother, but like I said we will ask Anya at a later date. Listening to Anya’s history was a hard thing to do. Both Matt and I shed some tears for her. Then we were told Anya is upset because she thinks we will not want her because she has been in hospital and is sick. And that she would come soon so we could comfort her. We are then told that Anya has graduated the high school, our 9th grade and that she attends this trade school for older children. This we knew from her last letter. But what we did not know was she no longer technically lives at the orphanage, but in a nearby apartment. She lives with 2 other girls who are a little older and also attend the trade school. Over the summer there was a wealthy Italian family who wanted to bless the orphanage in a large way, so they paid for two apartments one for girls and one for boys where they will live and learn to care for themselves before they must leave the orphanage system. They learn to cook, clean, do laundry and manage a household in order to be more successful in adulthood. Anya has been at this apartment life for about two-three weeks. And this is how she became ill, she ate too many eggs, and only eggs for many days, and she had an allergic reaction to the eggs. This does not surprise me much because when Anya was with us she loved eggs, always wanted an omelet! At the orphanage they do not get eggs we are told- never. So when she was given this freedom at the apartment she ate and ate the eggs until she was very sick! The kids in the apartment do go to the orphanage three times per day for regular meals, but are given supplemental food as well to learn to cook. And we are told that a caregiver from the orphanage drops in on them often unannounced to make sure things are as they should be. So during this whole thing we never expected to be taken to our orphan child’s apartment for a tour and tea! Anya came into the meeting at some point, and she had been crying thinking we did not want her because of the whole hospital thing, and like I said earlier we comforted her and she held me very close for a long time. It was good to be able to comfort her in this way, as I have dreamed of this moment for many months. After this we were asked by Nadiya to take Anya outside for a while so she could inquire about the possible second child from Ludmila. We are told afterward by Nadiya that Ludmila showed her the list of available children within 10-16 year old age range. There was only one child who is not attached to another sibling, but he is a boy. This will not work with the dynamics of our family; we do not have a bedroom for a boy to have by himself. If we were to adopt another girl she would have to share room with Anya. There are two girls available but one has a brother and one a sister Ludmila says is very rare that they would separate them and we are only approved for two children not three. Ludmila says there is a girl who may be available next year in September, but not today. So it seems that we will not be adopting two, just our Anya. We may ask about possibility of going to another orphanage in Mariupol, but most likely they will not allow it. Next we drove with Anya to her apartment. She showed us her bedroom all of the photos and gifts we had sent her. She then showed us her computer and played for us her Hanna Montana CD. She made us some tea and we drank this and had cookies. She was telling Nadiya she was nervous and did not know what to say to us. She asked us about Nastiya Fields, and if her parents would come for her, we told her yes but it is to be a surprise. She had a picture of Dan & Joyce’s Nastiya and I asked her what she knew about where she was. She told me she gave her the letter from Joyce, but that she is gone from the orphanage, and she does not know where she is at. Anya told us she would like to visit her grandmother’s grave before she leaves Ukraine. We will try to do this next week sometime. After we leave Anya’s apartment we must drive her back to the hospital to drop her off for the night where she will receive more of her treatments. We get lost several times, and ask directions many times, that is what we get for taking directions from a 15 year old! Finally we find the place, it is a huge complex with many buildings spread out and connected by old torn up pavement and sometimes dirt paths. Anya, Nadiya and I walk down the path to this old run down building, Matt and driver stay in the car and wait for us. Anya is sweet she wants to hold my hand the whole time we are walking. I cannot believe the way this place looks from the outside, we say goodbye just inside the entry way near the stairwell. She gives me a very long hug, and tells me in English she loves me and tomorrow. I tell her the same and then she walks up the stairs. It was a very strange thing, I would never dream of dropping my children off at the door the hospital and go home, but to Anya this is fine. No one to check in with or anything, just leave her? Every time Jasmine has been hospitalized I stay overnight with her for over a week at a time if that is how long she must stay. So after we leave Anya we go to our apartment. We meet Lyudmila’s son Sasha at the apartment. We will be staying at what we are told is the other Son’s apartment because he is out of town for work. It is the same one Ryan and Jessica stayed in I believe. It is only $50 per night and very nice inside. It is on the second floor no elevator, but short flights of stairs, not too bad. We have hot water all the time. We have a nice clean toilet that flushes. We have a washing machine, no dyer of course but they have a really big hanging drying rack that fold up, it works well. There is a bedroom with a nice comfortable bed then there are two separate living rooms which both have couches with hide-a-beds. Both of these rooms have doors that close so the apartment could essentially be considered a three bedroom place. Nadiya is sleeping in one of the living rooms with the hide-a-bed she is very comfortable as well. We will have internet available in the apartment as of Monday, Sasha will have it turned on for us, and we will pay about $50 US dollars for the three weeks we will stay to be able to have unlimited Internet in our own place is well worth the cost. We feel very, very blessed with this apartment it so much nicer than I could ever have imagined. God is good! On Saturday we go at 10:00am to pick up Anya at the hospital. We were allowed to take her from 10-12 on this day. We ask her where she would like to go and what she would want to do. She chooses to go to Extreme Park. It is a small amusement park, close by. It is more like carnival or fair type rides rather than the large one like at our Elitches. We pay only 1 ghryvna per person to get into the park. Then each ride is between 2-4 ghryvna. The place is not crowed at all, only two other families and us. First we get some food, Nadiya and I have pizza and Matt some type of sausage wrapped in bread and pizza. Anya just wants the ice cream. It is a bit different than American pizza but still good. So then Anya wants to go ride the rides. The first ticket booth person tells us no tickets for sale-what? So we try another booth and they agree to sell us these tickets, should there ever be a choice for them? Anya wants all of us to ride the “crazy Train” it is a small roller coaster. She and I ride on the Ukrainian version of the “sea Dragon” or the “Viking ship” you know the one that is like a big swing and goes way up in the air to one side and then back down and up to the other. I scream the entire time Anya just smiles and looks at me like I am nuts. We all ride the Ferris wheel type ride and can see great views of the city and river. Our time is almost up after this, just time to buy a souvenir, use the bathroom and head back to the hospital. Anya chooses a necklace with the two heart pieces one saying best and the other saying friend, she must have a friend whom she is going to miss when she comes home with us. We drive her back to this hospital place and her and I only walk up the path this time. She again holds my hand the whole way and big long hugs, and the “I love you, Tomorrow” in English. I agree and tell her we will be back at 10:00, she nods and says goodbye. Next we are off to the Mariupol version of Wal-mart. It is called Fox-Mart there is a sign out front with this written in English. This place is like a super Wal-mart has electronics, household goods, clothing, toys, and food as well. We are here to get a blow dryer, because the apartment in Mariupol does not have one to use like we did in Kiev. I did not bring my own from home as I was told it would not work properly because of the difference in our watts. We find the blow dyer and also buy some laundry soap, toilet paper and food for the apartment. Then back to the apartment for the evening, we will need our rest for tomorrow Anya would like to go to the market place and shop! She needs some new shoes. Matt’s worst nightmare, shoe shopping with three women in Ukraine.