Ballet fatigue, "The Santa Barbara Club" and appreciation at its lowest!

We decided we would take a short nap after doing virtually nothing for the short period of time we were actually awake on Saturday(7AM-430PM). We laid down at 430PM to rest, intending to get up and "blog". It's now 2:16AM here, I'm wide awake and Aimee's still sleeping. I can literally feel the "lazy"virus sucking the life right out of me. Back home I consistently put in 18 hour days, 12 of those at work. Here I can't hardly stay awake or motivated for more than 6 hours out of 24.

As for court: it was in a small, office type room in a large building that did not look like a court house. The judge sat at a regular desk with a large Ukraine flag on the wall. She was no-nonsense, to the point and gave no signals from facial expressions or body language, how things were progressing. This was the first time Nadiya had been with this judge so it caught her off-guard when the judge sat her next to herself and us about 10 feet away. Because of this, Nadiya could not translate one word of what was going on except to face us and tell us to stand because the judge was now questioning us. The questions were short and to the point: name, address, date of birth, profession. The only question asked of me, directly, was how much was my salary. We were asked if we were aware of our rights to certain information and if we did, indeed, want the adoption to proceed. We had no reason to react to anything that was happening because we had no idea whether we should be, or not. At times like these you become a real student of body language, facial expressions and voice inflection. Anya was asked twice to stand and make some statements. They were short and were apparently received well. I was able to catch our names several times and near the end I was able to pick up on the official name change for Anya as well as the transition in terminology for who her new parents would be. We were asked to wait outside the office for about 15 minutes after the hearing. Once called back in the judge began reading the official letter of approval of the adoption and it was then that the language barrier disappeared. All indicators; smiles, breathing, sighing and some tears broke down all barriers. Upon finishing, the judge flashed a quick glance at both of us, her face was now softened and full of empathy, knowing that she had just opened the door of opportunity for one of her counties children to have a chance at something other than the certain dismal future Anya faced.

Once outside the in the hall, hugs were exchanged. Well, for everyone except me! It was odd and yet almost expected. It took her until after our celebration lunch for her to even acknowledge me. Anya's main focus was hugging and bonding with mama. Even more odd, was that I was completely OK with this. My role in the family is clearly defined, ask all the girls: I'm the "jeep". I carry things, carry things some more, carry them back from where I carried them earlier, fix things, carry the fixed things back from where I carried them to fix them and make sure they work once I get them there or I'm carrying them again! I transport things that are bought from the garage into the house. I carry things that need to be set up for camping, taken down after camping and put back in the vehicle after every possible disaster that can occur, does occur during "family fun" camping. Has anyone else noticed that "family fun" is anything BUT "fun" during the activity and yet, at the same time produces the most bonding memories afterwards? Our family has more fun recalling and reminiscing about perceived family fun than we do actually doing it. Aimee and I have discovered that the more the possibility for disaster, the better the activity for the family as a whole. Back to my "role": I go to work and if I don't go to work, for any reason, I'm usually informed by all the females that my presence during their after school naps and feeding frenzies as well as my presence during dinner preparation, or the simple fact that I even exist between the hours of 715AM-330PM for purposes outside of work, is unappreciated as well as a complete nuisance to their routine.

Nothing makes the new dad of a teen-age orphan prouder than to finish off the adoption-day process by taking the whole crew (Aimee, Anya, Nadiya and the Fields) to the local strip club for a celebration dinner-thanks to the attorneys restaurant tip. That's right folks: "The Santa Barbara Club" in lovely, seaside Mariupol! Yes, what better place to take your beautiful wife, new teen-age daughter, a lovely Ukrainian facilitator and a good friend's lovely wife...and the friend!!! Before you start nominating me for "Dad (or husband) of the Year", let me throw in that Anya almost succeeded in ordering herself alcohol to celebrate. Were it not for Nadiya's quick ear, I would have been toasting the recently approved adoption right into debauchery at its finest! There may be a possibility that I broke more protocol, more laws and more standards in one glorious moment than most men do so cumulatively in their entire lives. Thank you very much. I may need to write a book! What a perfect scene. In the likely event of the need arising, there will be a web-site established soliciting donations for bonding me out. You know, it just keeps getting better. The restaurant served us our 6 meals over a 2 hour period, I think only one person was eating at any given time.

Going back in time one day; Thursday night we went to "Swan Lake" with the Fields at the theatre presented by the "Russian Ballet". Can I just say that if you ever get the chance to attend something like this-do it. Yes, it's corny, yes there are lots of tight outfits and yes I was uncomfortable watching some of the guys (especially the one I referred to as 'Sir Crotch-A-Lot'), but WOW!!! These people are athletes at the highest level. The strength and sheer physical prowess are nothing short of amazing. We paid about $30.00USD/ticket and had great seats-bottom level, 6 rows back. It was a bit long (3 hours) and way to many mood swings for me ("happy dance, sad dance, happy dance, sad dance...enough already). I don't know the story, I didn't know the swan died-she was in white one minute, black the next, back to white..what the he__? And all that "tippy-toe" stuff, no wonder that by the end of the play you could see the fatigue throughout their entire body-faces, legs, etc. and lots of sweat. It was a little disturbing watching "Sir Crotch-A-Lot", sweat! The crowd was almost as fun. They clap in unison, to a beat, you really get caught up in it. I tried to start a "WAVE", that did not go over well. One of those awkward moments when you stand up, yelling, throwing your hands up and no one gets it-all those stares, hmm. There were also several little girls sitting close by who could not get past our English-they just stared. I couldn't get past the gigantic Ukrainian bows in their hair-they were bigger than their heads!

I'm all over the "chronological map", I know. Yesterday, we went to the orphanage for another 3 hours of visitation. We were supposed to be there at 1000AM. We got there about 1015AM. Anya wasn't there. We were advised by Nastiya (Fields) and the "Gate Keeper" that Anya was at her apartment. We walked over to see her. She answered the door, well, completely asleep.

Where's the "love"? "Hate to bother ya. We just spent the last 18 months emerged in this process, spent $25,000.00 and gave up 5 straight weeks of our lives for you." So, there you are. For those who are all offended by the lack of appreciation-DON'T BE. If you're looking for them to worship the ground you walk on, you are in for a rude awakening. These are real people, too. They may very well "sell" themselves in an effort to be taken from their current environment, but at some point, reality sets in. Its somewhat similar to when people, finding themselves in a desperate situation, fall on their knees, praying (for,perhaps, the first time in months or even years) in an attempt to be taken out of the situation. Are they really any different than us? Let's compare situations to, well, God! He could very well be over-heard saying, "Where's the Love? Hate to bother ya. I just spent 5000 years playing the strings of the history of mankind like a musician plays the harp, strumming the perfect plan of each and every persons redemption, spent about EVERYTHING, including the life of my only son who endured the most horrific punishment/slaughter in history, completely undeserved and I've remained patient with you, loving until the end"-and we, at times, answer the door 1/2 asleep, if at all! Maybe this is why adoption is at the very heart of God. We need to get over ourselves. It is most certainly a good thing that we are involved in, but approach it with realistic expectations. To be sure, there will be moments when the appreciation is seen and there will be various levels of that-some will show it more than others, some will surprise with the level they express, whether it be much, or a little. At the least, it will make all of us more keenly aware of our Lord. Adoption, international or in-country, is not the "Royal Flush" in the high stakes gamble of getting into heaven, it is a desire and a calling put their by the Lord, Himself, to draw us closer to Him.

Whew! Enough of that. We've also discovered that Anya, while completely undisciplined as to the rules of organized sports, has an incredible leg, as well as aggressive nature. She's about 5ft. 6", 125lbs. and growing. Perhaps she'll try some sports at home-like, afternoon couch lounging-"ball", or, waking up at the crack of noon on Saturdays-"ball", or, every teen-age's favorite: trash can content shoving, can't take it out on my own-ball! We will at least expose her to some real sports at home that she can choose to be involved in.

To Kim: Aimee did daycare for years, almost exclusively little boys (until the last year) and I was privy to a lot of what goes on with 2 month-3 year old boys. It is amazing that little boys even survive long enough to grow into men. My experience has shown me that little girls at the same age are completely on defense when it comes to how their male counter-parts treat them-or is that called, "marriage"? :)

It is now 415AM here. Aimee is still asleep! That's almost 12 hours and she won't be up until about 7AM and she'll be exhausted by noon.

Among the list of items to bring, I will summarize with this: research the area you will be going, and factor in the weather. This is not a 3rd world country, they have nearly every item here that you could buy at home and it's cheaper here. IF!!!, you are going to a remote area, then I would suggest bringing specific items that I, as well as others have mentioned, otherwise, wait until you're here. I do wish I had brought a small (and I mean, small) fan for drying clothes on racks otherwise, it can take up to two days for stuff to dry. Guys, I cannot emphasize enough to bring 2 sets of clothing-that's it and one decent outfit for court. You can fit all your clothing into your old middle school duffel bag, minus the "pee-wee, XXX Small," size jock strap!

Aimee will add her version later. I always seem to forget the stuff most important to her. Don't get me started on that subject...